Bikes That Wish They Were Cars

The Tour de France bicycle race is set to launch its 103rd trek around the country. This year's race runs 3,535 km over 23 days and 21 stages. With that much saddle time, many riders will probably start to wish they had taken their cars instead. But since you can't take your car on the Tour, let's take a look at some of the best and worst examples we could find of bicycles which bend that definition. Some of them are bad enough that you'll cringe just looking at them, while others – though they'll never pass a car at full throttle – might just pass as one.

The Tour de France bicycle race is set to launch its 103rd trek around the country. This year's race runs 3,535 km over 23 days and 21 stages. With that much saddle time, many riders will probably start to wish they had taken their cars instead. But since you can't take your car on the Tour, let's take a look at some of the best and worst examples we could find of bicycles which bend that definition. Some of them are bad enough that you'll cringe just looking at them, while others – though they'll never pass a car at full throttle – might just pass as one.

Mini Countryman – Double Dragon?

Let’s start with this dragon-endowed 2008 Mini Countryman. Car or bike?

Let’s start with this dragon-endowed 2008 Mini Countryman. Car or bike?

Or half a hatchback?

Looks like that Mini is really a Mini-bike. (Well, it's really a Mini-trike.)

Looks like that Mini is really a Mini-bike. (Well, it's really a Mini-trike.)

Cozy P50?

Is this the next Peel P50?

Is this the next Peel P50?

PodRide

Looks like those are pedals. Sorry, that’s a tiny all-weather bike.

Looks like those are pedals. Sorry, that’s a tiny all-weather bike.

Automotive Royalty?

Surely that’s a G-Body Buick Regal, right?

Surely that’s a G-Body Buick Regal, right?

Puppet Monarch

Nope. This art car is a Buick with everything cut out, and pedals put in. More Grand Schwinn than Grand National.

Nope. This art car is a Buick with everything cut out, and pedals put in. More Grand Schwinn than Grand National.

Super Charged?

How about this? It says "Super Charged" on the side!

How about this? It says "Super Charged" on the side!

Super Man-Powered

But it’s only supercharged if you ate your Wheaties this morning. Those are pedals in that footwell.

But it’s only supercharged if you ate your Wheaties this morning. Those are pedals in that footwell.

Ferrari?

That’s obviously not a real LaFerrari, but it’s a pretty good repli-car, right?

That’s obviously not a real LaFerrari, but it’s a pretty good repli-car, right?

Fahrrad-i

It’s actually a Fahrradi Farfalla, and those are pedals and a bike frame under that plastic and tin foil body. Linguistic bonus: Fahrrad means "bicycle" in German.

It’s actually a Fahrradi Farfalla, and those are pedals and a bike frame under that plastic and tin foil body. Linguistic bonus: Fahrrad means "bicycle" in German.

Dark Knight?

This hack job of a fake Lamborghini Aventador has to be a bicycle, right?

This hack job of a fake Lamborghini Aventador has to be a bicycle, right?

Folk Hero

Nope! It’s a bad repli-car made from sheet steel and perched on top of a Volkswagen Santana. <i>[What's it doing here if it's not a bike? – Ed.]</i>

Ha! Tricked you! It’s actually a bad repli-car made from sheet steel and perched on top of a Volkswagen Santana.

They see me rollin’

Just another GT3 RS with a bad faux-gold wrap?

Just another GT3 RS with a bad faux-gold wrap?

They be papier-mâché-in’?

It’s actually a gold-coloured foil body on a bike frame. This Ferdinand GT3 RS (dubbed “the world’s slowest Porsche”) is a “tribute” to the real thing made by the same people who made the “Ferrari” earlier.

It’s actually a gold-coloured foil body on a bike frame. This Ferdinand GT3 RS (dubbed “the world’s slowest Porsche”) is a “tribute” to the real thing made by the same people who made the “Ferrari” earlier.

Murray General?

Ok, that’s a pedal car. No mystery here, right?

Ok, that’s a pedal car. No mystery here, right?

Ford Ranger

That’s actually a car. More accurately, a Ford Ranger donated the chassis and drivetrain to this creation.

That’s actually a car. More accurately, a Ford Ranger donated the chassis and drivetrain to this creation.

Sociable

Is this tiny two-seater the newest electric city car? No, this velomobile is just that: a bicycle that wants to grow up to be a car.

Is this tiny two-seater the newest electric city car? No, this velomobile is just that: a bicycle that wants to grow up to be a car.

Camper Bike

"You got your RV on my bike!"<br /> Two great tastes that together... make you look like a snail and go about as fast as one.

"You got your bike on my RV!"
"You got your RV on my bike!"
Two great tastes that together... make you look like a snail and go about as fast as one.

Smokeless and the Bandit

This Trans Am transformed itself into a bike with seating for at least 3. But I don’t think it’s going to fool anyone. Or out-run Sheriff Justice.

This Trans Am transformed itself into a bike with seating for at least 3. But I don’t think it’s going to fool anyone. Or out-run Sheriff Justice.

Car-dboard Bike

This one, made for an event promoting cyclist awareness and safety, doesn’t even look like it’s trying. Points for the fake door handle, though.

This one, made for an event promoting cyclist awareness and safety, doesn’t even look like it’s trying. Points for the fake door handle, though.

Glow Beetle

These fake VW’s are actually quadricycles from Indonesia with tons of LEDs transforming them from plain to outrageous.

These fake VW’s are actually quadricycles from Indonesia with tons of LEDs transforming them from plain to outrageous.

“Bent Wire” is the New “Folded Paper”

Many hours and much bending was put into this wire-frame Lamborghini Countach replica. Now someone just needs to finish rendering it.

Many hours and much bending was put into this wire-frame Lamborghini Countach replica. Now someone just needs to finish rendering it.

Master and Commander and Rider

This Leiba Classic velomobile doesn’t stop at trying to be a car, it's also been modded by its owner to be a sailboat. It’s ambitious, but you can’t tack across the highway. Well, maybe parts of the 401 are wide enough.

This Leiba Classic velomobile doesn’t stop at trying to be a car, it's also been modded by its owner to be a sailboat. It’s ambitious, but you can’t tack across the highway. Well, maybe parts of the 401 are wide enough.

Body on Frame

<i>[Evan, when I said cars on bikes, this isn’t exactly what I meant. – Ed.]</i>

[Evan, when I said cars on bikes, this isn’t exactly what I meant. – Ed.]

Gears and Beers

After all of that pedalling, it’s time for a cold one. So here’s your bike bar for the end of a long day.

After all of that pedalling, it’s time for a cold one. So here’s your bike bar for the end of a long day.

 

In honour of the Tour de France: Some bicycles that are cars, and some cars that are bicycles. 6/30/2016 10:00:08 AM